Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Part A-Helping Others)

Hello, everyone!

So, I've been pondering lately, which according to a certain animated film is a dangerous past time.

I am part of a leadership team in my youth group and on our recent leadership retreat I wondered something: How inviting are we?

If you are someone who reaches out to people and evangelizes regularly, you know that sometimes its easy to go talk to the quiet kid and bring them into the conversation, after all, they're not as threatening. Also it makes us feel good.

But what about the rest? The people we see every day? Its a shame when people leave the Church, but an interesting statistic is: 100% of people who leave the Church, were, at one point, in the Church.

There are countless stories of people who were on fire for their faith, but for some reason, that flame was choked. A lot of it is on their part, but there are some things we can do.



I'm going to tell a story now, of a boy who was in youth group for three years. He loved Jesus with all of his heart, and was a dedicated leader. One weekend, he went on a leadership retreat (this story actually happened by the way). On this retreat, the boys were separated from the group to make dinner for everyone. Of course, on this retreat, the adults made every activity a learning experience. (This story is now going to switch to first person.)

While the rest of the guys were making dinner, I watched our youth minister pull that boy I was talking about out of the kitchen without anyone noticing. He whispered something in the boy's ear and the boy sat down at a table. It was a test.

The test was to see how long it took for the boy to be invited back. Now, this boy was well-known and people noticed he was gone immediately. In fact he made eye contact with another guy in the kitchen. No one did anything. The guys in the kitchen picked up his slack while he sat there, bored, and they started talking about him.

After five minutes, they all were talking about him being gone. At seven, they were laughing about it and calling him lazy. At eleven minutes they all unanimously laughed about how his laziness would cause him to not eat dinner. After fifteen they finally invited him back, still not sure.

What really broke my heart was that even after they found out it was a test, they still made fun of him, even punishing him for being able to sit at the table for fifteen minutes. After a series of kind of mean jokes, and desperate attempts to deflect them, he was getting pretty angry.

What started out as a test turned out into a reflection of attitude of the group. I was really disappointed in them. This kid who sat off by himself was being made fun of even though he didn't have a choice. I asked the guys later, "Is that how we treat new kids in our youth group?"

One replied, "No we just thought John was being John. We thought he was sitting there because he was lazy. It's different."

Was it different, though? Sometimes, we as Catholics are too quick to judge. Sometimes, we even judge the people we know very well. What the group didn't think about was, what if John was having a really bad day and he came to youth group to try to get away from it? What if that was his breaking point?

We, as Christians, need to be welcoming of everyone. Even the people who we think are already in it for good. Because, like I said before, 100% of Catholics who leave the Church belonged to the Church at one point.

If we aren't helping people get to Christ, we're hurting them. If we mess up and are judgmental and unwelcoming, then God has to send someone else to clean up the mess we made in that person's life. We need to be a bridge to walk across, not a wall to get over.

One way to do this is to embrace our private faith life more than our public prayer life. I met Jason Evert once, and asked him how he became a prominent preacher of his faith. He told me this:

"Your faith is like a skyscraper. What the people see can be dazzling and spectacular, but the foundation, what they don't see, must be rooted deeper than the tower is tall." -Jason Evert 

So, in your efforts to evangelize your community, remember to make your personal faith life deeper than it is tall. And honestly, the best way to do that is to pray.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Contemplate that verse, (and better yet, take it to prayer), keeping in mind that the best way to pray without ceasing is to set aside specific times to pray. It sounds strange, but trust me.

God Bless,
Patrick

PS: Part B is coming. I just have to go to rehearsal first. Yay! School's back in session! (slight (heavy) sarcasm)